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Table of Contents
Bush Addresses Council on Face Relations
Bush Lauds Courage of Facial Freezilitus Students
Courage in the Goofyface of Adversity at World Cup
A History of Facial Discrimination
What is Facial Freezilitus?
Entertainment News
Advice Column
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Facial Freezilitus: A Legacy of Facial Discrimination


Denied fair housing opportunities, Ted and Alma Scrunchem pose in front of their shanty in the facially segregated town of Hackettsville. Although both confronted years of discrimination, Ted was the only one able to convey his anger facially.



Facial freezilitus child (center) blending in naturally with her straightfaced classmates. Today, children of all faces can sit close to one another and read books.

Underneath the veil of smiles, bulgerated cheeks and lovingly crossed eyes of Facial Freezilitus sufferers lies a painful yet inspiring story of unwavering dignity and pride in the face of facial discrimination and injustice. In the 1930’s and at the peak of poor face relations those with facial freezilitus were spurned by vast segments of society. Denied fair housing, employment and equal academic opportunities based solely on facial characteristics, Facial Freezilitus sufferers took proactive steps to not only be accepted into straight-faced society, but also to educate the world on their plight.

Spearheading this movement were Ted and Alma Scrunchem (pictured). As proponents of facial equality, this interfacial couple challenged theories of facial superiority and were married in Biloxi, Mississippi in 1936. Shortly thereafter Mississippi and other Southern states erupted in anger at this interfacial marriage and during the 1937 U.S. Senate Committee on Face Relations, noted Facial Segregationist, Senator Cleetus T. Bass stated, “Next thang ya’ll’ll be havin’ a bunch half-this and half-that bifacial kids, runnin’ ‘round corruppin’ the monds of our straightfaced banjo playin’ youngun’s.”

As Senator Bass predicted, the Scrunchems procreated and soon Alma gave birth to Harvey, a healthy and happy bifacial baby boy. This momentous occasion ushered in the first of many challenges to facial superiority theories and encouraged the world to gradually accept people of all faces. Today, with schools facially integrated (pictured above) and facial injustice nearly a thing of the past, both straight and goofyfaced people can look at each other and honestly say, “There is only one face, and that’s the human face.”


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